Love's For SAPS!
So happy St. Valentine's Day Massacre everybody. The two of you who read this blog anyway. Love is folly, chocolate will clog your arteries, roses just turn that ugly crusty brown and die anyway. Sharpe's is the only worthwhile existent thing. Just Sharpe's. King George commands, and we obey.
I have to go back to eating my bowl full of nails now. Then I will butter my hair (like the Gauls), get into my viking ship, and shout obscenities at nothing in particular.
Best Valentine's Day movie to share with yer "snookums": Buffalo 66. Go rent it. Now.
Somebody post me a comment. Topic: most original/absurd date you've been on. I'll start once I have a chance to eat these rusty nails.
I have to go back to eating my bowl full of nails now. Then I will butter my hair (like the Gauls), get into my viking ship, and shout obscenities at nothing in particular.
Best Valentine's Day movie to share with yer "snookums": Buffalo 66. Go rent it. Now.
Somebody post me a comment. Topic: most original/absurd date you've been on. I'll start once I have a chance to eat these rusty nails.
2 Comments:
At 1:09 PM,
euc said…
We stopped at Subway first because he hadn't eaten dinner yet. "12 inch tuna sub please, with extra onions and mayonnaise."
Ugh. Disgusting. To make matters worse, he was a chew-with-his-mouth open kind of guy, AND he insisted on talking through mouthful after reeking mouthful. The real date part of it was supposed to take place at the Feve, we were going to get coffee and talk. After the first 6 inches I was ready to be ill and go home, but, I'm a soldier. Right? Right.
So we went to the feve (this was when the table tops were slate and they gave you chalk to draw with.) and I was making idle conversation and doodling, while he explained the hidden meanings of the Beatles' Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.
"It totally stands for LSD. It's like, omg, hahaha! LSD! And they were singing about it and everyone thought it was so great and it was so mainstream!!"
Hoo boy. He still had bits of tuna stuck in his gums and every time he spoke a green cloud of toxic fumes flowed forth. I wanted to FLEE! When he asked me to go to the late show I only agreed because I knew it'd break my curfew, and that I'd get grounded, and that I'd have a perfectly legitimate reason to not date him again.
When the show was over and he walked me back home, he stopped under the streetlight in front of the house. The windows were all dark, but the porch light was still on. He had that pubescent horn ball look on his face, and he uttered a "I had a really nice time tonight" as I put it in fourth gear and walked my eighth grade feet up the driveway as fast as I could, lest he think he was getting a kiss goodnight.
At 8:36 PM,
euc said…
hahah, yeah, that was my first (and only i might add) date with kevin hobbz. I was in the eighth grade. Terror. Utter terror.
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