Saint Crispin's Day

She inhales the donuts they bring in to the point that you can hear her agonized lungs expand with each massive bite. And then there is chocolate everywhere, and the complaining about needing to lose weight and not having self-control. This is repeated at least three times througout the day, she is wearing pants that maybe used to fit and a top that doesn't help her to not look pregnant. She's not pregnant though. And there is this sick cycle of abuser/abusee between her and the boss. He makes inappropriate comments and/or advances and she laughs and plays along, then when he's gone she complains and complains and laughs still, during the complaining. She talks about how she has a million dollar sexual harrassment lawsuit and all I can think is are you crazy?

And there is a new girl in the office, younger and prettier, and she actually is jealous when the boss focuses his attention on the one rather than the other. It's sickening to watch and I seriously wonder about the thoughts that rattle around in her head. Or what she thinks when she's all alone, how sad it has to be to derive your sense of self-confidence that way.

And they modeled the Penelope skit on SNL after her. Sometimes it's a game to say something just to see how she will one-up it. I just told her I can't help her with something because I'm trying to finish an email, to which she replied "Oh I haven't even had time to look at email yet today." MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED ROOTING FOR THINGS TO SHOVE INTO YOUR CAKE HOLE, YOU WOULD HAVE TIME.

I have to get out of here. I want to find the courage to quit. I want to find the courage to ask Dan if he can help me to live off of part-time work until I finish school. If anyone still reads this blog and has advice for navigating this rough patch, I would love to hear it! Future Emily, how does it all turn out?