He Was Talking To Me About Retirement

I wish I could fast-forward to a month from now, or two. Although I suppose I could just stop listening to The Doves. Everything's ok. I can finally be honest with myself about things, this is immensely helpful. Better late than never, is what they say.

There is no order to things, to life, if I ever had any doubt that things are random and there is no divine path along which we all trod, it is now annihilated. It's true, it's really true; every day in every way we make ourselves -- we make the world. Stop living as though in the future everything will work out and you will simply have made all the right decisions, and will be happy. Don't forget about the organ-stop. The ant hill. The point is to keep learning, to keep growing. You make mistakes, what's important is how you deal with the realization. The future is not some static point in time towards which we move a little closer each moment. It's a farce, a gift horse, an illusion, don't listen to the siren as she beckons you towards immobility. Do now. That's all there is. "The future" is a place where you will never, ever, find yourself.