This Road Is Real.

It's like getting a long, snuggly hug from the dearest of friends when he calls. Conversation cuts right to the root, and he actually understands the choppy and fragmented thoughts that spew out of my brain. How gloriously lovely. He always manages to remind me that life is terrifically splendid, and to be fearless, and to watch for all of the marvelous things that fly around our heads, the beauty in the minutae that we so readily take for granted and become accustomed to. For we must certainly have chaos within ourselves in order to give birth to a dancing star. My philosophy will be ferocity! The Wa in Olympia. Thank you for the simple fact of your existence.

What I'm trying now, is to learn how to trust. To learn how to have relationships that are on my terms. This is an entirely new experience for me; over the past week I've realized, to a small degree, just how much I waffle and bend and compromise in order to sustain relationships with people. It's not fair to either party because it's not honest, and there is always some amount (usually a large amount) of personality degredation involved. Oscar Wilde believes that the moment humans begin to interact with each other, they simultaneously begin to lose their individuality. Perhaps this is a tad hyperbolic, but I believe there's truth in it. When a relationship begins to require fundamental personality changes in order to operate, it's time to reevaluate the motivation for maintaining the relationship. Where do you draw the line? Existence is not a sin. Individuality is a virtue, and should not be impinged upon. I don't even fully know what I'm trying to say, it's as though I'm looking at the world through newly cleaned glasses, for once. Good and bad have ceased to exist, there simply is what works for you, and what doesn't. Ah, this brain! These words. Language falls short. I know nothing. And it exhausts me. And all the while Iggy Pop is convincing me that he's got a lust for life. Yeah, me too! What a beautiful place, this existence.