Just Clearing My Head

...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Some Stuff.

Ulcer. Stomach cramps. Getting worse at work, I should stop drinking coffee with this going on but it’s one of the few vices I’ve got. And I won’t go to the doctor or blow my top at the source of the problem, I’m like Akakyevich with his ill temper and malaise, "so my stomach hurts, eh! Well, let it get worse!" It makes little sense but the lack of sense is one of the few things I can hold onto. So hold on I do.

We’re in the children’s crusade, she and I, and though it might be illogical and crazy and driving us to ruin, it is a thing of beauty. All beautiful things have a grave. And that’s precisely what fuels the beauty, that tomb.

When a person slips into insanity, it’s only scary for the ones left on the outside, the ones who still have to deal with reality. When your sanity starts going the last thing you care about is how this might affect you in five years’ time or what the neighbors will think or how you’ll possibly manage your bills.

All day todayI was thinking about the reason behind people’s actions. Had Alex S. on my mind. We shouldn’t act out of some self-aggrandizing need to be flawless, infallible, untrumpable, enduring. We shouldn’t do good things out of a desire to have good things done to us. We shouldn’t follow a moral code because we fear for punishment in an afterlife.

We should act justly and with compassion because that’s the right way to act.

Ask Rugby. He’ll tell you all about it.

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