Just Like Faramir.

For some reason it really hit me the other day, the degree to which I live my life internally. So much going on inside that never makes its way out. I think I struggle with depression because I struggle so constantly to find my calling. It's hard sometimes, to think about getting older and not feel that much progress is being made. I am so hung up on titles and rarely give myself credit for what I actually do. I am my own worst enemy, this I know. I told Ryan that it took me six months to stop hearing "you are worthless" with each in-breath. No longer that frequent, it is still there with a nagging desperation, winter's cold breeze on the heels of springtime. You can't really plant anew until that fear of frost is gone.

According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it.

Direction. If only I had a compass to show me what to do, which steps to take... but the future is not ours. Faith, and patience.