For The Glory
We covered the station in Carlisle when Ed Shepherd died. Ed had served in some capacity in the fire service for sixty years. Sixty years of dedication like that and somebody blinks and all of a sudden there is a wake and flowers and firetrucks circling the ten square miles or so that were your bailiwick. They toned out a final call for Ed, and I felt all at once the absolute frailty that this dance is, how quickly we can get called away. We lose sight of how tenuous that line is, how there is little more than flesh and membrane binding us to this side, and a little wisp of a soul. We stood in front of Carlisle Sta. 1 and our pagers went off and I wasn't prepared for it, for what followed. The dispatcher's voice seemed so far away like down an aluminum tunnel and the passing trucks and all the blinking lights and the slow progression of vehicles, and it was too much. But there we stood at attention and I couldn't let the saltwater betray my soft center, standing there so resolutely.
Lorain County 911, Carlisle Fire Department. This is a final call for Carlisle Firefighter Ed Shepherd. Thank you for your service to this community, you will be missed. 911 clear, 1341.
There is no way to preserve it, any of this. And I suppose the point is to stop planning for the day that you live out your purpose, and to do it, now. They are going to be laying people off next year, in the schools, because of the "tough economic times." Today I learned that my job could be one of the ones cut. The gut reaction that I had wasn't anger or fear, and I think it has to do with my faith. "Maybe," I thought, "I am being led." I think that sometimes I need a harder push than most because I am so willing to discount my dreams as foolish. I think it has to do with the Russian blood in my heart that tells me that life must certainly involve suffering, and that includes the drudgery of going daily to a job that kills whatever fire you felt in you when first you woke. It's not silly, Emily, if it's what you want. Why worry about what other people tell you? They aren't happy with their own lives most of the time, or know how to fulfill the desire you feel to serve, to do something worthy.
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.
Ezra 10:4
Lorain County 911, Carlisle Fire Department. This is a final call for Carlisle Firefighter Ed Shepherd. Thank you for your service to this community, you will be missed. 911 clear, 1341.
There is no way to preserve it, any of this. And I suppose the point is to stop planning for the day that you live out your purpose, and to do it, now. They are going to be laying people off next year, in the schools, because of the "tough economic times." Today I learned that my job could be one of the ones cut. The gut reaction that I had wasn't anger or fear, and I think it has to do with my faith. "Maybe," I thought, "I am being led." I think that sometimes I need a harder push than most because I am so willing to discount my dreams as foolish. I think it has to do with the Russian blood in my heart that tells me that life must certainly involve suffering, and that includes the drudgery of going daily to a job that kills whatever fire you felt in you when first you woke. It's not silly, Emily, if it's what you want. Why worry about what other people tell you? They aren't happy with their own lives most of the time, or know how to fulfill the desire you feel to serve, to do something worthy.
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.
Ezra 10:4
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