I Am Not Legal Eagle.

That's a joke for Anne. But there's another meaning for this reference to my blue feathered friend; I was watching the Muppet Show the other day, and Legal Eagle had a segment that wasn't the news. He was berating the "rogue element" and "crazy liberals" for protesting to save a wildlife preserve, one that had been slated for construction. He had a list of all of the animals that the protesters were claiming to be protecting, and he started to read them off (in an effort to denegrate the claim. His rationale was, "these animals are worthless!") The fourth animal on the list was, you've probably guessed it by now, the American Bald Eagle. At this point he stares into the camera open-mouthed, and slowly sidles off stage. Nothing matters until it hits home, right?

And now, the reason for this missive. One of the presents I got Ryan for his birthday was volume 1 of Rock Against Bush. Fat Mike of NOFX (I'm in love with him, btw) wrote several eloquent and glorious passages as to why Bush needs to go; one of these editorials is a long list of quantifiable reasons that the guy just shouldn't be prez. I thought I would share them with you, Gentle Reader. After you've read it, call me and we'll have coffee and draw up a blue print for impeachment. Yeah?

1. The national debt under Bush Jr. has increased so drastically that the average american's estimated share of national debt will be an astronomical $24,000 -- compared to $500 when Dubya first took office.

2. Under Bush Jr. there are now 43 million Americans with no health insurance.

3. Responsible for an unemployment rate of 6%. There are now 9 million people out of work in America -- 3.3 million more than when Bush took office. (And don't even mention the under-employed.)

4. He cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

5. Bush Jr. deserted his unit during Vietnam and was reportedly AWOL for over a year from his assigned unit: the Texas Air National Guard, or as it's referred to by other military outfits, the "champagne division."

6. Despite a 13% unemployment rate among those aged 16-24, Bush Jr. proposed to eliminate youth opportunity grants -- a program that provides job training to the nation's youth. A $225M program in 2002 is now being done away with so Bush can have more money for Iraq.

7. He cut funding for 375,000 low income college students and reduced Pell Grant amounts to such a severe degree that it effectively caused 84,000 students to no longer be eligible for Pell Grants. Pell amounts have been overall reduced for 1.5 million students.. it's safe to say that the Bush daughters aren't eligible for financial aid, so this won't affect the opulent lives of anyone Bush Jr. may know.

8. Withdrew from the International Criminal Court.

9. First President in US History to refuse United Nations Election Inspectors (during the 2002 US elections.)

10. All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

11. The Bush Administration had twice as many FBI agents fighting the drug war than fighting terrorism prior to 9/11. Even after 9/11, more than 2,000 FBI agents are wasting their valuable time assigned to the war on drugs.

12. His proposed "Free Trade" Agreements would result in the loss of US jobs to foreign markets and the exploitation of third world workers.

13. John Ashcroft.

14. He has taken 11 official executive actions to undermine reproductive rights.. how long will it be before a woman is stripped of her right to choose?

15. Failed to fulfill pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."

16. Wasted federal resources on a PR trip to Baghdad where he staged a Thanksgiving meal at 6 am with troops that were screened based on their political affiliation. And the turkey? It was a prop.

17. His refusal to fire -- or even reprimand -- Lt. General Jerfy "Our god is bigger than their god" Boykin. Perhaps it's because Boykin said of the President, "George Bush was not elected by a majority of voters in the United States. He was appointed by God. He's in the White House because God put him there."

18. After sending troops off to die in an unjust and unprovoked war, he still has yet to attend any soldiers' funerals.

19. His shameless nepotism for the rich and powerful. Elizabeth Cheney (daughter of ol' dick) got hooked up with a cool gig at the state department where she was in charge of the $129 million Middle East partnership initiative and then was moved over to Daddy and Uncle Dubya's campaign payroll.

20. He dropped his dog on its head.

21. Bush Jr. is the first President in US History to enter office with a criminal record.

22. Bush Jr. has set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest a leader (10 million people,) shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

23. He slashed funding to the violence against women act.

24. He has invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of one billion dollars per week.

25. He appointed Charles Pickering, a notorious segregationist from Mississippi, as a federal judge and suspiciously did so on Martin Luther King day.

26. Bush has spent over 100 billion on Iraq, leaving states to face the largest budget crises in decades and forced to cut off public services; now with the federal deficit at a new high, Bush Jr. wants to award more tax breaks to the wealthy.

27. Under new Bush legislation (the Clear Skies Initiative,) power plants are allowed to emit triple the amount of highly toxic mercury into the environment.

28. Bush Jr. failed to protect 3 million acres of the Tongass National Forest from logging. The Tongass has the highest concentration of bald eagles on earth and has already lost 700 square miles to logging with 33 more logging permits pending. Not even the sanctity of our endangered national bird can compete with Bush campaign contributions provided by the Forest Industry.

29. He is on pace to have taken more vacation than any President in history, including a 28-day vacation right before 9/11. Bush Jr. has taken 6 months of vacation in total... do you know anyone that gets 6 months of vacation?

30. He pulled out of the Kyoto Protocal on Global Warming, which had been agreed upon by 178 other countries.

31. Bush Jr. is endorsed by fundamentalist Pat Robertson who claims that God told him Bush will win re-election and that "it doesn't make a difference what Bush does because God is blessing him." Bush keeps some great company, but keep in mind Robertson was also the nitwit that blamed the 9/11 attacks on gays and suggested that we "nuke" the US State Department.

32. He set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. 152 in total; some of whom were mentally disabled.

33. Has repeatedly stonewalled the public investigation into 9/11.

34. Bush Jr. declined to fully fund the AIDs initiative after promising to do so. The final cuts that resulted were over $2 billion.

35. He still suggests that homosexuals are "sinners" and is pushing legislation that would forbid gay paternerships and deny fundamental civil rights on a national and local level. (I'm ashamed to be an Ohioan.)

36. Choked on a pretzel and nearly lost his life while seated in front of a tv.

37. Bush Jr. has gone to great lengths to prevent investigations of his friends at Enron and Halliburton. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

38. Bush Jr. has sent the record for the fewest amount of press conferences by a President since the advent of television.

39. Responsible for a $521 billion deficit-- less than 4 years after inheriting a 200 billion dollar surplus.

40. He has made repeated attempts to legalize oil drilling in the National Wildlife Refuge.

The time for action is long since passed. We are this country. There is a lot we can do.