Give me sunshine, make me happy.

365 days and what does it signify? We had nearly four of those, and awhile back I gave up trying to take anything overt from it. To a lesser degree I've been wondering if that's the stance to take about life as well. Are there lessons we should be picking up along the way? A bunch of stuff that happens. Some people will be nice to you. Some people will fascinate you. Some will be awful, but you get on with it. There is a core somewhere in all that mass of carbon and water that no amount of derivation or deviation will obfuscate. Nobody has the answer. But, I stopped believing even that there is a question.

Philosophy, dogma, all the arguments that go in circles, in this wild struggle for existence we fill our heads with so many facts, so much information! We want to keep our place. This society teeming with facts. Perhaps isolation has caused me to become feeble-minded, but I hold to the belief that all anybody is really looking for is to be treated well, loved even, cared about. It sounds easy, but this is something that humans are ridiculously terrible at. Our spouse wants to be loved, yes, but we want to be loved too, and we don't want to be the first one to display our affection, lest we appear weak or needy or clingy or whatever label you choose to give it. Or maybe we're wrong about the whole thing and we can't bear to suffer the rejection that entails. Or we can't even love ourselves, so how could we imagine that anyone else on the planet might be capable of such a thing?

Well, you're through it then. 365 days and so incredibly much has changed. It's hardly perfect and the weird thing is that there's nobody to ask, "what's wrong?" No one who would pick that up. Funny what we take for granted. And what we get used to.

"Life is the slow trek to recover, through the detour of art, the one or two images in the presence of which, our hearts first opened." Every time I hear that quote I think about that old black lab in Prescott. Ranger. There are no regrets.

Vperyod!