He said,
I have heard God's silence like the sun
and sought to change
Now
I'm just going to listen to the silence
till the Silence.
...
I couldn't stop thinking about what she wrote, about the session, and it made me mad enough to want to go too in a show of solidarity like a boston dock worker's union. All knuckles and brass tacks. I was thinking about her during my run today and desired to send any strength I might have that would help, as though I could transfer emotions like I was a thundercat.
A lady told me yesterday that she knew I couldn't answer her question and that she'd have to wait for one of the counselors. She actually looked me in the eye and said that, as if to challenge me. One of the counselors looked at her like she was crazy and told her she had better ask me. She asked me about an obscure house bill and I of course knew the answer because I'm fuckingsmartgoddammit, so I rattled off the answer but with the distinct lack of couth that has underscored my interpersonal relations of late. I hate people, they will damage you. There is no point in being nice to them if they only seek to poison you. Live your life with a ruthless sense of self-preservation. People will seek to cleave you from your dreams and goals because it's scary to be around someone who has a clear idea of what they want from life. Most people don't have that. Most people fear, with a hot passion, that which they don't have/can't understand.
What am I even fucking trying to say? The fact that you were going wanting to hear one thing tells you something. You know what's best for you. Other people are crackpots. Virus et decus. We belong to a Roman Legion. Never forget that, Praetorian, because I am following in your footsteps.
:)
and sought to change
Now
I'm just going to listen to the silence
till the Silence.
...
I couldn't stop thinking about what she wrote, about the session, and it made me mad enough to want to go too in a show of solidarity like a boston dock worker's union. All knuckles and brass tacks. I was thinking about her during my run today and desired to send any strength I might have that would help, as though I could transfer emotions like I was a thundercat.
A lady told me yesterday that she knew I couldn't answer her question and that she'd have to wait for one of the counselors. She actually looked me in the eye and said that, as if to challenge me. One of the counselors looked at her like she was crazy and told her she had better ask me. She asked me about an obscure house bill and I of course knew the answer because I'm fuckingsmartgoddammit, so I rattled off the answer but with the distinct lack of couth that has underscored my interpersonal relations of late. I hate people, they will damage you. There is no point in being nice to them if they only seek to poison you. Live your life with a ruthless sense of self-preservation. People will seek to cleave you from your dreams and goals because it's scary to be around someone who has a clear idea of what they want from life. Most people don't have that. Most people fear, with a hot passion, that which they don't have/can't understand.
What am I even fucking trying to say? The fact that you were going wanting to hear one thing tells you something. You know what's best for you. Other people are crackpots. Virus et decus. We belong to a Roman Legion. Never forget that, Praetorian, because I am following in your footsteps.
:)
1 Comments:
At 2:34 AM,
porfiry said…
I think we can transfer strength and emotion like Thundercats. Then again I have always had a latent sentimentality, my Achilles heel. :)
I did feel your solidarity, though. It's around my neck all the time, strength and honor. It is our conscientiousness that will make us good at we we are aiming for, we just need practice in not letting it take over our thoughts when we are faced with conflict. Sometimes resolute action is the better choice.
And I find myself thinking, when I wake up, thank the gods I'm a Jinn. Because I think we might be stronger than a dock workers' union.
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