Preservation.

I could see my face reflected back in the glass from where I was sitting, salt stained blotchy and I couldn't even feel anything. I kept seeing the situation from above and to the left, as though watching a movie. "Is this how I react?"

Just numb. I feel like my heart is encased in tar, a crust of protection from what I have too easily gotten used to. Monday, he said. We cannot do this together. The rut that has been forged does not lead in the right direction. By being too kind I have wasted my life.

I arise today, through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me; God's wisdom to guide me.