Give It To Me Straight.

Life is pain, this I know in my heart. It's not easy for anyone. It's your choice what you do with that pain -- whether you let it make you prostrate, debilitated, unable to act, or whether you use it to fuel your drive toward something amazing. You could spend your entire life in that nowhere land of self doubt. I have so many dreams and ideas for the future, some that I'm afraid even to think about at times because of all the work it'll take to get there. Focus on the small and changeable things and you'll be 80% of the way there. You only get one shot at this. The mountain may look unclimbable, but what the hell else do you have to do with your time here? Just start. Commit to something. Pretend you're strong enough until you really are. Nobody is going to take you by the hand and lead you there.

I had a dream last night about Anne. We had these pagers and there was this message that came across it that said, "all male swimmers report to the pool for the nude agility contest." I got really panicked and felt very glad in that moment to not be one of the male swimmers, but when I looked at Anne she was packing up her stuff to go to the pool. She looked up at me and said, "fuck that, I'm about to beat them all." Like it didn't matter a) that it was a call for the guys or b) that she would be totally naked! I went to the pool with her and she was doing in-and-outs like a machine and I forget what other events they had, but of course she totally kicked everyone's ass. That's what life is. And that's why I have such a huge amount of respect for her -- because that's how she lives every day. You have to dictate the terms of your own life and to hell with what anyone else will think/do/say. When your actions are driven by your internal sense of strength, duty, and honor, the ones who are worthwhile will stand with you and the idiots who don't deserve your presence will fall by the wayside.

Just remember this. When you really know yourself, you are never alone.