In It To Win It
I wasn't going to go, originally. There is bric-a-brac piling up in my life that needs to be addressed, like cleaning the leaves out of the gutters of my existence. My room is a mess, the floor covered with clothing that I haven't put away for weeks. I have pictures that I need to edit. Haven't worked out in awhile. Lately I have been instant rice in a pressure cooker and the resultant stress has caused me to break out, which I am very self-conscious about. I was going to work the game, and go home to start ticking off items on my to do list, just be by myself. That is, until Bradley called.
Brad is, I'm pretty sure, my brother separated at birth. He is one of the funniest people I know. He is a genuine person and he would go balls to the wall for any of the people he cares about. I think that we are not too unlike each other. The invitation from Rob to go get a few drinks after the game was easy for me to mentally shoot down, but when Brad was part of the equation it gave me pause. Sometimes being near Brad is like breathing a nice, deep, breath of fresh air. So substandard pulchritude aside, I told them I'd be there.
We stood in a group at the bar, the four of us. I was still in my school colors from the game and the first comment from Rob was that it was nice of me to dress up. Brad and I slammed a couple of christmas trees and the vitriol started. It's too easy to make fun of Rob, and I felt bad, but I tempered the feeling by reminding myself that he started it. And already, it has begun! We cannot have reached the level of comfort with each other that allows us to be grumpy toward each other in public and for some god forsaken reason, tender in private. Or rather I should say, he has reached this level of comfort. I think that for most relationships this type of behavior signals the beginning of the end. But then, I have always gravitated toward extremes. You're either with me or against me. The pot-shots are for fifth graders.
So, the evening ended with Brad leaving to see his boy at the Inn. And I left shortly thereafter but not before we stood alone at the bar and Rob asked me in his boyfriend voice what was wrong. I swear I must just have no patience for people. I looked away and didn't answer, finished the last swig of gin and headed down the stairs. And this morning he asked me to accompany him to dinner tonight. I know! I'm excited too!! I need an alternate plan, quick.
Brad is, I'm pretty sure, my brother separated at birth. He is one of the funniest people I know. He is a genuine person and he would go balls to the wall for any of the people he cares about. I think that we are not too unlike each other. The invitation from Rob to go get a few drinks after the game was easy for me to mentally shoot down, but when Brad was part of the equation it gave me pause. Sometimes being near Brad is like breathing a nice, deep, breath of fresh air. So substandard pulchritude aside, I told them I'd be there.
We stood in a group at the bar, the four of us. I was still in my school colors from the game and the first comment from Rob was that it was nice of me to dress up. Brad and I slammed a couple of christmas trees and the vitriol started. It's too easy to make fun of Rob, and I felt bad, but I tempered the feeling by reminding myself that he started it. And already, it has begun! We cannot have reached the level of comfort with each other that allows us to be grumpy toward each other in public and for some god forsaken reason, tender in private. Or rather I should say, he has reached this level of comfort. I think that for most relationships this type of behavior signals the beginning of the end. But then, I have always gravitated toward extremes. You're either with me or against me. The pot-shots are for fifth graders.
So, the evening ended with Brad leaving to see his boy at the Inn. And I left shortly thereafter but not before we stood alone at the bar and Rob asked me in his boyfriend voice what was wrong. I swear I must just have no patience for people. I looked away and didn't answer, finished the last swig of gin and headed down the stairs. And this morning he asked me to accompany him to dinner tonight. I know! I'm excited too!! I need an alternate plan, quick.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home