Soft and Longing

And it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull, and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul,

I remember, just so [thank god] infrequently that feeling, the absolute aloneness looking at your face and how I thought I was ever going to do something to change that. Sucking sinking downgoing frightful grey black silence and your lips the way they would curl with loathing and anger, sunglasses in a dark room ice clinking into glass end of the line.

I know now, and it's so absolutely crazy to me to think back on those days, that I would have spent as much time as I did waiting pleading hoping. For what, I would ask her. Forget the building upon a shaky foundation, you can't build when there are no materials period with which to do so. I have a King now, and it's so incredibly easy. To just be with you, and it's so much more than I ever imagined could exist. Like a best friend and brother prince king lover protector provider man. And to be loved so, in return. It's so nice up here I never want to land.