Peppers and onions

Can you look at the situation and discern the reasons that cause it be difficult? Are they reasons that have fixes that are logical, and could you possibly apply those fixes with more experience, more knowledge? Then it's worth your effort, and your main adversary is your own need to be perfect, to be acknowledged, to be Lisa Simpson. To be born already knowing everything and the accolades that go along with it. Where has that gotten you before, and why the change? Is that an expectation you apply to absolutely anyone else in your life? To be content with your best effort and to have more mental space for the other parts of your existence. Not to assume that it's impossible because you find it hard. But to recognize that if it's humanly possible, you can do it too. That to the day it was three months ago that you decided to put your faith entirely in yourself and your ability, and plunge into the unknown. What was the goal? A simpler life. To be where you're most comfortable. To not be pulled so much, by all of those hands reaching and beseeching -- to not be expected to fix their life. You're doing it. You just have to stay the course, to hold fast.

There are so many similar moments that I can vaguely recall, but the hardness fades with time and all you remember is the feeling of victory. As though that was inevitable -- of course it wasn't -- how many never even made it to the black helmet?  How quickly you forget. I remember distinctly, though, climbing up an extension ladder with all of the gear and sucking air and with a chainsaw in my right hand, I don't know but you just have to sort of pray to God when you're in that situation. There's no real way to hang on and balance well aside from divine intervention, and then there's a roof ladder to shimmy over to when you get to the top. Somehow I didn't fall and once positioned the senior firefighter was the one who's never invited anywhere anymore but still sucks around not understanding (or maybe understanding) that his shit personality is what got him uninvited. So you're up on this roof, smoke showing, chainsaw in hand, precariously trying to keep balance on this roof ladder using just your feet in these ridiculous boots, and this is the guy directing you. If you can do that, and make the roof cut, and then also extricate yourself and your tools, what exactly are you worried about? Listen, this is just part of the process. What would you tell her? Find the part of this that you can act on, that you can change, and focus your efforts there. The rest of it you have to find a way to release. You deserve a life and a good one. Hold fast.