Bloodbuzz
I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees. We had no idea what we were getting into, once we set out, and as time went by we let the Lilliputians take hold of the brain stem, we more and more put our faith in those orchard thieves and the robber baron blood was put asunder. Not entirely a bad thing, but it's amazing what one will get used to. It's time again to wake up.
I was thinking about Olympia, how it was to be there before that last trip which may have forever ruined it for me (a lovely honeymoon gift! desperation...) and I suppose what I am most afraid of is a return to that feeling. Having never felt so solitary isolated and alone before in life. North Carolina is a long ways away. There are things to worry about, and my brain is quite adept at digging them up at every possible instant and showing them to me, assisting in their full examination. Sometimes I think that worrying about paying this mortgage is everything there is in life. Sometimes I think that when this house sells I will spontaneously combust for the relief of stress and they will have to clean the bits and pieces off of the wall/ceiling.
Yes! It is time to wake up. Return to simplicity. We will ride his motorcycle to the ocean on the weekends! And the sentiment reminds me of that with which I left that foreign land for the last time, adventure burning deeply within my soul. Myopic as a return to that vision may be, it has to be a different fuel that drives me, I've grown far too comfortable with the undertakings of men and the requisite sterility of life that goes along with it. Most of the people with whom I work are unhappy. And that unhappiness finds palliation most often from downgrading the ones closest around, dissecting the percieved flaws generally only when said party isn't within earshot. And I have found myself from time to time engaging in this behavior! Oh, these failings of the mind. Yes, a different fuel is necessary. We used to talk about the banker-women on their smoke breaks and how the world so readily becomes a tiny indistinguishable microcosm. It's amazing, the propensity of time to move forward.
I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees. Let cities light their lamps in the evening. My daytime is done; I am leaving Europe. The air of the sea will burn my lungs; lost climates will turn my skin to leather. To swim, to pulverize grass, to hunt, above all to smoke; to drink strong drinks, as strong as molten ore, - as did those dear ancestors around their fires. Boredom is no longer my love. Rage, perversion, madness, whose every impulse and disaster I know, - my burden is set down entire. Let us appraise with clear heads the extent of my innocence.
I was thinking about Olympia, how it was to be there before that last trip which may have forever ruined it for me (a lovely honeymoon gift! desperation...) and I suppose what I am most afraid of is a return to that feeling. Having never felt so solitary isolated and alone before in life. North Carolina is a long ways away. There are things to worry about, and my brain is quite adept at digging them up at every possible instant and showing them to me, assisting in their full examination. Sometimes I think that worrying about paying this mortgage is everything there is in life. Sometimes I think that when this house sells I will spontaneously combust for the relief of stress and they will have to clean the bits and pieces off of the wall/ceiling.
Yes! It is time to wake up. Return to simplicity. We will ride his motorcycle to the ocean on the weekends! And the sentiment reminds me of that with which I left that foreign land for the last time, adventure burning deeply within my soul. Myopic as a return to that vision may be, it has to be a different fuel that drives me, I've grown far too comfortable with the undertakings of men and the requisite sterility of life that goes along with it. Most of the people with whom I work are unhappy. And that unhappiness finds palliation most often from downgrading the ones closest around, dissecting the percieved flaws generally only when said party isn't within earshot. And I have found myself from time to time engaging in this behavior! Oh, these failings of the mind. Yes, a different fuel is necessary. We used to talk about the banker-women on their smoke breaks and how the world so readily becomes a tiny indistinguishable microcosm. It's amazing, the propensity of time to move forward.
I was carried to Ohio in a swarm of bees. Let cities light their lamps in the evening. My daytime is done; I am leaving Europe. The air of the sea will burn my lungs; lost climates will turn my skin to leather. To swim, to pulverize grass, to hunt, above all to smoke; to drink strong drinks, as strong as molten ore, - as did those dear ancestors around their fires. Boredom is no longer my love. Rage, perversion, madness, whose every impulse and disaster I know, - my burden is set down entire. Let us appraise with clear heads the extent of my innocence.
