To The Matresses

We were talking, some of us women in the office, about something that Bev had seen recently on the tv news. "The perfect gift for the woman you love," the anchorman said with that faint amount of skepticism one acquires after divorce or infidelity has forever marred one's outlook on the opposite sex, "coming up at eight."

When we asked her what the perfect gift according to Fox News ended up being, we were somewhat surprised when her response was that she hadn't stayed tuned in long enough to find out. "What does it matter?" she mused. "Scrub the toilets and fix supper once in awhile, and you'll have me eating out of your hand."

Yes.

So, here we go, kids. I'm thinking about that Eminem song this morning, "Lose Yourself." Today, I have to act. I know what I want, it's time to stop screw-dicking around. "If you only had one moment to seize everything you ever wanted, would you take it? Or would you just let it pass by?" Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy....