King's Crossing

the crickets were out last night chirping, i was even over there for awhile and i sat outside near that garden i worked on while waiting for chuck to come down for the first time, every star in the sky was out and visible. felt how tired i am of everything. of course the mind extrapolates from the past and the low times are jettisoned and i thought of that night we were up til who knows when and chuck led the expidition for the last piece of the earthcaller and the absolute disbelief when the thing was acquired, there were crickets that night too. all of our buddies were there and

you understood me,

maybe more than i did myself. i am so incredibly weary. i'm tired. of not being able to find things, of the house being a mess, of the constant clamoring for activity, of the forced small talk and the air of disappointment.

i know, how i began and how i'll end.

i got
a new hat that i found outside and a monkey bottle full of water that smells like summer. today would be a good day for a cigarette if i were a smoker. last night you would have joined me and said to hell with the hustle bustle, but it's not even a consideration and i've simply got to stop thinking that way. just a fond farewell i guess, to a life that i'm not done loving yet.