RRAAAAAAGE!
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Last night I went to the ER for my increasingly painful case of poison ivy. Going to the ER is anathema to me. That's how bad it was. So, within 10 minutes of being there the doctor came in to see me. Having insurance really makes a difference in how fast you get seen. Anyway, the doctor was... he was... beautiful. I think that his name was Dorian Gray. Pre-painting Dorian Gray.
Anyway, he told me that I'd need a shot of sterroids and would be back to normal in no time. The down side? The shot had to be administered in the ass. I had on clean underwear though, so I didn't mind showing the cute doctor my "trunk" or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
So he disappears to get the syringe, and about three minutes later a giant, bald, tattooed guy is coming towards me, full syringe in hand. "WHAT!" my brain is protesting.
"Heh heh, so I'm probably the last guy you want to see, right? Heh heh." He was good humored, which certainly helped to downplay the fact that he had a massive dagger with a snake coiled around it tattooed onto his bulging forearm. "Gotta see the top of a hip."
I hike up my skirt and clean underwear and let out a self-conscious laugh. It must be laundry time. I had on pink lace undies. Bottom of the barrell. It would only be worse if they had unicorns on them. He makes verbal note of a little bruise on my hip. Another self-conscious laugh.
"This is gonna sting, and then it's gonna burn. It's an anabolic sterroid."
"Sweet!" I reply. "Does that mean I can go directly to the gym and get all beefed up?"
"Heh heh. You'd probably need a couple more doses than just this. But you will notice some of the side effects, like jitteriness, rapid heart beat, you know."
He is standing strangely close to me. He has a nice face. Like he would be the pirate who would smuggle you some non-maggot-infested bread if you got captured by Blackbeard and his crew. "Now just follow this up with some over the counter benadryl and you'll be good as new."
I wander back to the front of the hospital and am already starting to feel better. For awhile I marvel that the entire ordeal, from check in to check out, happened in the space of twenty minutes. The last time I was at the hospital was with Ryan when he had the seizure, and on that occasion it was two hours before we saw a doctor, and another two and a half hours before we could leave. Amazing what a little insurance card will do.
Last night I went to the ER for my increasingly painful case of poison ivy. Going to the ER is anathema to me. That's how bad it was. So, within 10 minutes of being there the doctor came in to see me. Having insurance really makes a difference in how fast you get seen. Anyway, the doctor was... he was... beautiful. I think that his name was Dorian Gray. Pre-painting Dorian Gray.
Anyway, he told me that I'd need a shot of sterroids and would be back to normal in no time. The down side? The shot had to be administered in the ass. I had on clean underwear though, so I didn't mind showing the cute doctor my "trunk" or whatever the kids are calling it these days.
So he disappears to get the syringe, and about three minutes later a giant, bald, tattooed guy is coming towards me, full syringe in hand. "WHAT!" my brain is protesting.
"Heh heh, so I'm probably the last guy you want to see, right? Heh heh." He was good humored, which certainly helped to downplay the fact that he had a massive dagger with a snake coiled around it tattooed onto his bulging forearm. "Gotta see the top of a hip."
I hike up my skirt and clean underwear and let out a self-conscious laugh. It must be laundry time. I had on pink lace undies. Bottom of the barrell. It would only be worse if they had unicorns on them. He makes verbal note of a little bruise on my hip. Another self-conscious laugh.
"This is gonna sting, and then it's gonna burn. It's an anabolic sterroid."
"Sweet!" I reply. "Does that mean I can go directly to the gym and get all beefed up?"
"Heh heh. You'd probably need a couple more doses than just this. But you will notice some of the side effects, like jitteriness, rapid heart beat, you know."
He is standing strangely close to me. He has a nice face. Like he would be the pirate who would smuggle you some non-maggot-infested bread if you got captured by Blackbeard and his crew. "Now just follow this up with some over the counter benadryl and you'll be good as new."
I wander back to the front of the hospital and am already starting to feel better. For awhile I marvel that the entire ordeal, from check in to check out, happened in the space of twenty minutes. The last time I was at the hospital was with Ryan when he had the seizure, and on that occasion it was two hours before we saw a doctor, and another two and a half hours before we could leave. Amazing what a little insurance card will do.
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