but I'm feel I'm truly however crazy think

Today has been ups and downs. I find myself reexamining simply everything, feeling silly for holding fast to the ideas I thought were already cemented into the future. It's funny how we do that even if we claim to be forever only in the moment, here-and-now Zen Gods, nonplussed by the untenable thing that is that which has yet to be. It doesn't even exist. And yet we buy up all of the real estate that in our minds is the future; so much so that when we've made a simple miscalculation, we have to tear down marble edifices and flatten and bulldoze just to begin again.

And it's hard at first, that beginning again.

So tonight has been somewhat low, and then for whatever reason I checked my long abandoned photography blog. There was a comment! It was on the picture of the corn spider, which I had learned from Danielle was actually an orb weaver. With eager anticipation, I clicked.

" Hey,were you find the corn spider?I like spider must.Great I'll do we relationship make a friend?" Now you know I had to check out this guy's profile. The comment instantly made me smile. When I speak Russian, this is how I envision that I sound to native speakers. And I'm always nodding and smiling as I imagine this guy is as he types the broken english, as though gesticulations and eye contact somehow elucidate everything.

His profile was even better.

About Me

Swimming in all person "eye".

How do you pronounce the 'g' in bologna?

The bologna shape is "g".

Sometimes I can only smile for how unexpectedly wonderful humans are. For how we'll try even if it doesn't make sense. How the trying is probably the purest and realest thing we can offer up to the world. There is real innocence in vulnerability in trying, which are the first two things that the harshness of the world and fear snatch out of you. And so I go to bed with a little smile, wondering what the hell the thing about bologna could possibly be about.