Swept Under

I just want to say this, how crazy it is to be in something so healthy and good. I was listening to radiohead and the lyrics, how I used to get that black tar sinking feeling crushing my soul when I would hear this song, "you are all i need...." and how I really felt that, down in my core. But that it was something born out of fear, and not love. Fear that you would leave me or that no one else would understand me and it is like a sickness, to need someone in that sense. Because in the end, you did leave me. And I don't think that you ever understood me. But there I was, blinders and all. And now a sigh of relief. We were never right for each other but that feeling was like glue and the fear of being alone is a strong thing. And it sneaks up on you and you can't see it and you end up so far away from the person you were when you started that you almost have to go on a vacation from other people to remember that stuff, the good stuff.

And to think that all this time there really was someone out there like me.