Do I Even Speak English Anymore?
Bass line wafting into my brain like so many college parties getting lost in the music. No sensory dillution this time and the feeling is so much more accute. Encompassing.
I try to do a lot, more than I can chew. Balance out my ambitions is what I've got to do.
I want the whole damn world.
When Anne wrote,
I am a fist full of light.
I have excoriated myself.
I am nothing,
I am nothing.
I am the emporer,
admiring his finery.
I wonder if she knew the importance it would have for me. My mind feels absolutely spastic and I only got done meditating about thirty minutes ago. So much, so much, so much! Emily, there is time for everything. So much time. Collect your arrows and continue about your task.
What is this thought that I am trying to convey...? Brain like a rollercoaster. At one moment on the crest of the wave, and at the next... all of the mud and the muck that I am working to understand and see. Like walking from one side of a pitch black room to the other, hands outstretched, no idea what objects one will come into contact with, or when. I will get to the other side, this is not even a question.
Straying from my point.
It is quite simple, really. When we relate to each other from a mutual level of humanness, compassion is easier, interaction is easier. All connected like a lego set. Stop bifurcating all the time, stop stop stop. Kittying up self image to the image one perceives through the filter of those we encounter will surely only lead to unhappiness! Who are you really, if the slighest perceived "misperception" of that front you present to the world sends you into a tailspin? You are only surface, and the base [core] of you needs cultivation. And when you do away with this aspect of using those you encounter as mirrors, you will experience an entirely new depth of intimacy.
Your ego would love to keep you miserable, the little bastard. Don't forget!
I try to do a lot, more than I can chew. Balance out my ambitions is what I've got to do.
I want the whole damn world.
When Anne wrote,
I am a fist full of light.
I have excoriated myself.
I am nothing,
I am nothing.
I am the emporer,
admiring his finery.
I wonder if she knew the importance it would have for me. My mind feels absolutely spastic and I only got done meditating about thirty minutes ago. So much, so much, so much! Emily, there is time for everything. So much time. Collect your arrows and continue about your task.
What is this thought that I am trying to convey...? Brain like a rollercoaster. At one moment on the crest of the wave, and at the next... all of the mud and the muck that I am working to understand and see. Like walking from one side of a pitch black room to the other, hands outstretched, no idea what objects one will come into contact with, or when. I will get to the other side, this is not even a question.
Straying from my point.
It is quite simple, really. When we relate to each other from a mutual level of humanness, compassion is easier, interaction is easier. All connected like a lego set. Stop bifurcating all the time, stop stop stop. Kittying up self image to the image one perceives through the filter of those we encounter will surely only lead to unhappiness! Who are you really, if the slighest perceived "misperception" of that front you present to the world sends you into a tailspin? You are only surface, and the base [core] of you needs cultivation. And when you do away with this aspect of using those you encounter as mirrors, you will experience an entirely new depth of intimacy.
Your ego would love to keep you miserable, the little bastard. Don't forget!
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